that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
