Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
