I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
