How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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