Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
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