She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
