I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
