do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
