nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
