I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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