You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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