tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
are you so shy because you have an std?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
