So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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