Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
