Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
