glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
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