Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
