franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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