im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
