I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
