Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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