In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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