I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I have demons in me.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
