Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He better not be in your backpack
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
