The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
