The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
