Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
