I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
