I wish I could punch you in the face.
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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