ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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