Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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