it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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