So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
