The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
