Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Randomize
