I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Randomize
