if you like me you must not know who I am
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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