There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
nutella sex= disaster
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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