so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
