dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
