So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
