I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
