Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
