no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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