hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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