YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
