i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
