I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
