her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
you inspire me to be a worse person
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
