"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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