dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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