I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
i think i just lost a toe
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
