All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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