sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
