I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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