i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
